We need to reindex "batshit insane" to a higher baseline.

[flewellyn]

Okay, the latest Freeper/Birther/Obama's-really-a-half-breed-muslin/alien overlord/whatthefuckever meme flying around the wingnutosphere is that Obama can't possibly be a legitimate 'Murrican*' because, supposedly, he's...

...wait for it...

NOT CIRCUMCISED.

Seriously. Actual people have expended actual time actually speculating about this actual topic.

Now, of course, rational thinkers everywhere (which rules out most of the hard-right GOP base these days) would respond with two questions:

1. How in the blue peepin' hellacious eyes of Samuel W. Scratch would anybody other than his parents, his doctor, and his wife know about the Presidential member's cut or uncut status to begin with?!

and

2. For the sake of Saint Fuck of Fucksenbourg**, what the hell difference would it make? It's not as if men in America with both cut and uncut penises do not exist, side by side, living in perfect penile harmony.

This is so risible, so laughable, so beyond absurd, that the phrase "grasping at straws" doesn't begin to cover it. (And brings to mind rather less than welcome mental images, so let's not go there.)

My first thought, when I read this? "Wow...the shadowy corporate overlords orchestrating these insane shitstorms sure are getting awfully cocky..."

---

* As opposed to Merkin, who is not appearing in this picture.

** Saint Fuck of Fucksenbourg is the patron saint of fivenication. It's one better than fournication...

Comments

[limpingpigeon.livejournal.com]

I can't wait for the complaints that the photos on the presidential website of the presidential penis sans foreskin is the "short form" version and demands for the photo to be posted "actual size".

[rantinan.livejournal.com]

You're waht?

Oh my..... holy balls.

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

You're close!

But no cigar.

[rantinan.livejournal.com]

Well i wasnt gonna mention cigars when republithugs might hear about them...

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

What I want to know is, will they start inquiring about Democratic members of Congress?

[rantinan.livejournal.com]

Well its Not JUST the cigar.. It;s itls lengthm its in the girth, its in the cutting... and of course its a major drahama if its been rolling on the thighs of a 16 year old virgin female... If it wa a male it woudl be one of the republican congressmen and thus time to hush things up.


Ok i think i;ve pushed that metaphor as far as i can.

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

You missed the whole "Democratic members of Congress" thing, then?

[roseneko.livejournal.com]

-1 subtlety.

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

Sorry, didn't mean to be a prick about it.

[roseneko.livejournal.com]

*clappity clappity* Better. :)

[motodraconis.livejournal.com]

1. Why would it matter? I mean, who cares?

2. Is it routine to circumcise newborns in American hospitals without asking the parents first? I mean WTF?


Um, from the UK here, and rather more shocked at point 2.

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

Well, the answer to the first is obvious: they do! Because speculating about the penises of powerful men is what they do. (I recall a lot of right-wingers swooning over President Bush's "bulge" when he landed that plane on an aircraft carrier to announce "Mission Accomplished" just before everything in Iraq went straight to hell.)

And as for the second, to my knowledge, it has never been routine to do so without parental consent. That doesn't stop the Freepers from believing whatever insane idea pops into their mind (singular is purposeful).

[motodraconis.livejournal.com]

Verily, it's multi-layered f*ckwittery.

I'm speechless.

[hypatiasghost.livejournal.com]

Actually, it has been in the past very *close* to routine. They ask first, but until recently and still in many places, they are very surprised if you say no.

[idemandjustice.livejournal.com]

My stepmother is Filipino, and they said that back home, they do it automatically; parents get no say. But that's the Phillipines, not here.

[minkrose]

Man, I'm just sad that the Daily Show is on vacation for the next three weeks. I would love to see their take on this!


I'm glad I'm informed now, though!

[hypatiasghost.livejournal.com]

Careful. You might be hauled in for questioning with that unlicensed pun.

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

Which one?

[idemandjustice.livejournal.com]

My first thought was, How the hell do they know whether or not he's circ'd?

And lots of people don't circumcise their sons anymore in the US. Something about it being an elective cosmetic surgery, irreversible, with benefits that can be achieved just as adequately with good hygiene and safe sex practices.

(Why, no, I did not circ my son. If he wants it later, and he has the money to pay for it himself, I'll allow it.)

[happiestsadist.livejournal.com]

Wow, they certainly do spend a lot of time thinking about penises. And they must know that there are plenty of American men who aren't cut.

Oh wingnuts.

blink blink

[the-resa.livejournal.com]

There ... there are no words.

There is no bottom..

[capybyra.livejournal.com]

The essential core strategy of some wingnuttery is Absurdity.

[jackytar.livejournal.com]

I think I broke my brain.

I so LOVE the userpic!

[capybyra.livejournal.com]

Damn- I'd love to get them as a sticker sized for deployment... Was it your creation?

Re: I so LOVE the userpic!

[jackytar.livejournal.com]

It was indeed. I'm reasonably certain I still have the full-sized version lurking on the ol' HD somewhere. I'll have a dekko..

Re: I so LOVE the userpic!

[jackytar.livejournal.com]

And there you go. Feel free to copy & re-distribute.

Thanks!

[capybyra.livejournal.com]

Eris will be pleased by what this will wreak.. Billboard Liberation with some really huge ones of this may be a someday risk...

Re: Thanks!

[jackytar.livejournal.com]

Heh. I submitted this back a while ago to the Wikipedia article on "subvertising" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subvertising (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subvertising)

[keryddwen.livejournal.com]

Always a pleasure, well, you know, to read your journal. :D

[mercuryfading.livejournal.com]

Hey,

I friended you after following a link to your LJ on Shakesville. I was sitaanne on CiF and WhiningGirl on Shakesville. Just wanted to poke my head in and say hi. You don't have to friend me back - my journal is more personal and less political, but I did want to read more of you :)

-Woman of many names ;)

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

Why hello thar!

You picked a very weird post to introduce yourself, but welcome!

[sugar-for-sugar.livejournal.com]

This is the most hilarious thing in the history of hilarity. The absolute best post on the subject I have seen.

Also, I must say that this vision the wingnuts seem to have of the US as a land of no foreskins really harshes on my kinky little dream of having a partner with one at some point.

...I'm also left to wonder why a bunch of dudes who claim to hate teh ebil homos are spending as much time thinking about penises as a virile young woman who is a self-proclaimed perv.

*dashes off to put "fivenication" on her list of things to do before death-- with an uncut partner, of course... or wait, FIVE of them?! Okay I'm pervy but I dunno what I'd do with that many*