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[personal profile] flewellyn
So, a friend of mine is writing a television script, and wanted some examples of absurdly unbelievable reality TV shows for characters to mention in passing. Naturally, I relish a challenge to be silly such as this. She had already set the tone with "Celebrity Food Fight".

Here is what I came up with...

  • "Two chefs compete to bake the best cake...only the winner will have the bomb strapped to his or her leg defused! That's right, it's another exciting episode of 'Cake or Death!'"

  • "Two teams compete to decorate a semi truck and trailer in the most outlandish way possible, then drive it across country and see who gets the most bizarre looks, in 'What the Truck?'"

  • "A bunch of self-absorbed, egotistical idiots live together in a house...while every week, one of them mysteriously disappears due to ideological thoughtcrime! That's right, it's 'Big Brother: Orwell Edition!'"

Other ideas include "Hurling Bricks At The Stars", "Slaughterhouse Danceoff", and "Extreme Makeover: Septic Tank Edition".

Got any of your own? Comments welcome!

Edit: Another idea I had: "HE is a banking executive whose bad decisions cost thousands of people millions of dollars! THEY are the thousands of people! Watch as they compete not just for money, but for vengeance, in 'Who Wants To Beat Up A Millionaire?'"

Date: 2010-08-31 12:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xuincherguixe.livejournal.com
"Here at Fox, we care internationally. That's why we're taking starving Africans and putting them on an island! But they're going to learn there's no such thing as a free lunch. That's why we've given them machetes. Tune in at 9:00 for another exciting episode of cannibal island!"

I'm thinking that's only a few years away.

Date: 2010-08-31 12:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xuincherguixe.livejournal.com
"Every day investigator's work hard to solve crimes. Considering how much time they spend in these buildings they should look fabulous and not so drab and dull. That's why our top team composed of individuals practicing alternative lifestyles will go in and spruce up the labs. Though some of these gloomy Gus' don't much appreciate it and say that we're interfering with the investigation. It's Queer Eye for the CSI"

Date: 2010-08-31 12:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pixxelpuss.livejournal.com
-Millinery with the Stars
-America's Next Top Breasts
-If you liked American Idol, you'll love Humiliating Teenagers, wherein rich and beautiful celebrities mercilessly mock adolescents on national television! Now with follow-up interviews with former contestants to see how their therapy and eating disorders are coming along...
-The Great American Wife-Swap!

Date: 2010-08-31 12:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flewellyn.livejournal.com
-America's Next Top Breasts

Pretty sure that one already exists in the form of "America's Next Top Model".

-The Great American Wife-Swap!

DEFINITELY sure that one exists already. "Wife Swap".

Date: 2010-08-31 05:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pixxelpuss.livejournal.com
Yeah, the satire was a little too close to reality on the first one. The second one... I knew it existed, but I meant to imply more of a 70s swinger-vibe to it. Oops.

Date: 2010-08-31 12:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xuincherguixe.livejournal.com
"Compete on live television to pitch your idea for a reality TV show for us! It's We're Out Of Ideas."

Date: 2010-08-31 12:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flewellyn.livejournal.com
"Colonoscopies of the Rich and Famous!"

Date: 2010-08-31 12:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mitrian.livejournal.com
"Project Runaway! Two semis, one ramp, no brakes! Two semis loaded with explosives start at the top of a steep, winding mountain highway. There's only one runaway-truck ramp, halfway down the mountain - see which truck will safely make it to the ramp, and which will crash, go over a cliff, and explode!"

Date: 2010-08-31 12:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flewellyn.livejournal.com
That is genius!

Date: 2010-08-31 03:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kyra-neko-rei.livejournal.com
Spoiler: first truck hits the ramp and comes to a stop, second truck follows it onto the ramp, hits it, and they both explode.

Every. Single. Episode.

Date: 2010-08-31 03:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mitrian.livejournal.com
But would you watch it?


Date: 2010-08-31 01:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mitrian.livejournal.com
"Project Runway - Wake Turbulence Edition! Watch fashion designers and models compete to see which outfits - and poses - can withstand the wake turbulence of a 747! Watch the models duck to avoid the landing gear, are chased by the luggage cart, and are harassed by TSA agents!"

(Edited because I cannot tyep today. Tpye. Tyep. Damnit!)
Edited Date: 2010-08-31 01:01 am (UTC)

Date: 2010-08-31 01:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mitrian.livejournal.com
"Oregon Trail! Watch a modern-day family struggle to cross the US with an ox-drawn wagon, limited supplies of food, and no modern technology! Watch as they hunt for food, try to repair a broken axle, or try to cross a river without drowning! Viewers can vote, each week, on which member contracts dysentery, cholera, or typhoid, or is bitten by a snake!"

Date: 2010-08-31 01:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mitrian.livejournal.com
Hahahahahahahahahaha! But there's no audience call/text-in to vote on which person gets dysentery....

Date: 2010-08-31 05:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pixxelpuss.livejournal.com
They also did this on Canadian TV. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0294167/

Date: 2010-08-31 03:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kyra-neko-rei.livejournal.com
"Two teams compete to decorate a semi truck and trailer in the most outlandish way possible, then drive it across country and see who gets the most bizarre looks, in 'What the Truck?'"

This is all the more funny in my fandom where the trucks are sentient, self-mobile, and capable of vetoing the decorations in question by transforming and tearing them off.

I foresee a pregame contest to see which team gets Optimus (they will win) and which team gets Motormaster (they will end up running and screaming a lot as he objects to being decked out in flowers/streamers/paint/silly string/toilet paper).

Date: 2010-08-31 03:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flewellyn.livejournal.com
Bonecrusher hates this idea.

Date: 2010-09-01 01:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kyra-neko-rei.livejournal.com
He also hates that you know him so well.

Appropriate icon is appropriate, and he hates that too.

Date: 2010-08-31 05:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rantinan.livejournal.com
i now have the mental image of the top gear boys decorating motormaster, optimus and bonecrusher and taking them on a trip through alabama ala the america special.

Excuse the noises from my bunk, they are nothing. REALY.

Bonecrusher DOES think country music is rubbush by the way, and hates rednecks at fuel stations.

Date: 2010-09-01 01:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kyra-neko-rei.livejournal.com

Long Haul wants in.

*joins you in producing the noises*

Date: 2010-08-31 03:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vilajunkie.livejournal.com
"Obamarossa--Meet the President's newest chief adviser, your favorite hotheaded cowcunt from 'The Apprentice'! Watch Omarossa get double-teamed by Rahm Emanuel and Hilary Clinton--and take them both down in flames! Only on Sunday nights after 'The Simpsons', hosted by Glenn Beck!"

Date: 2010-08-31 04:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lucretiasheart.livejournal.com
"Who wants to beat up a millionaire?"

That's a show that sounds wrong but satisfying...

Date: 2010-08-31 06:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] baka-kit.livejournal.com
I nominate the BP CEOs for the first round.

Date: 2010-08-31 08:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lucretiasheart.livejournal.com
I second the nomination!

Date: 2010-09-01 01:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kyra-neko-rei.livejournal.com

With a bonus round where you can pelt them with tar balls.

Date: 2010-09-01 06:47 pm (UTC)

Date: 2010-09-01 04:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] happiestsadist.livejournal.com
I completely lost it at "hurling bricks at the stars". Now the cats are looking at me funny.


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