File this under "things I did not want to imagine existed"

[flewellyn]

I'm all in favor of people inventing new and interesting ways to experience each other sexually. So long as everyone involved is a consenting adult human, nobody is injured, and everyone has a good time, I don't care what two or more people enjoy doing in the privacy of their own home/hotel room/RV/tent/empty field in the middle of nowhere with a wisk, a can of shaving foam, cellophane, tights, and a miner's helmet. I may not want to see the pictures, mind you, but I figure, as long as it's safe, sane, and consensual, whatever! I really don't care who's doing who, what they're doing with each other, and where they bought the equipment...usually.

There are, however, some things I happen upon which I think are truly screwed up and wrong. Things like the Gigimo Artificial Virginity Hymen.

The description, unedited:

No more worry about losing your virginity. With this product, you can have your first night back anytime. Insert this artificial hymen into your vagina carefully. It will expand a little and make you feel tight. When your lover penetrate, it will ooze out a liquid that look like blood not too much but just the right amount. Add in a few moans and groans, you will pass through undetectable. Its easy to use, clinically proven non-toxic to human and has no side effects, no pain to use and no allergic reaction.

I think it should be obvious why my reaction to this was (no pun intended), "What the FUCK?"

Are there really that many men out there who care that badly about their girlfriends or wives being virgins, that there is a market for such a thing? Apparently, there are. And apparently, there are enough women who feel, for whatever reason, that they must deceive their boyfriends or husbands into thinking they are virgins through the use of this device.

I would imagine that women who buy and use these devices do so to protect themselves from retribution, either from their boyfriends or husbands, or the larger community; it's not unheard of in some places for men who find that their new wives are not virgins, to kill them as a matter of "honor", or for the woman's family to do the same. And even if that's not the case, they may suffer great public shaming and social ostracism.

This is one of those things where, at first, I laugh, but then the implications hit me, and I sigh and get depressed. The sheer batshit insane patriarchal fuckedupitude is absurd on one level, but on another, it's deadly serious.

Comments

[limpingpigeon.livejournal.com]

Yeah. As I said when you first sent me that link, at least the "allergic-reaction in a bottle" product that makes the lining of the vagina swell to make it tighter for a similar effect is intended to increase sensation for both partners. At best, this product is all about men getting to "de-flower" someone.

[allthelivesofme.livejournal.com]

I'm trying to get to something more coherent than "AUGH what the hell" but that's about all that's running through my head right now. I mean, just . . . this is awful.

[jennifoot.livejournal.com]

If it saves a girl's life, I am all for it. That is the reality of this product.

[roseneko.livejournal.com]

Seconded. In the US, yeah, it's kind of stupid. In other countries? It may well do just that.

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

What this person said. Twice.

[idemandjustice.livejournal.com]

I started to write some smart-assed silly comment as I read the beginning of your post, but then I kept going and you're right. The ramifications of that thing aren't funny at all. So I deleted what I'd started to type up, and will now just be bothered that there must be a market for this shit.

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

My point was not that the product should not be sold.

My point is, how fucked up is it that there's a demand for this?

[jennifoot.livejournal.com]

I totally got that. I was just saying I am all for it no mater what the initial thoughts may be and that the reality of the world is there is a need for this.

*sigh*

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

You know what? It's gonna sound like I'm going off on you, but I'm not. I'm going off on something you've said which I run into a lot, and which irritates me. It's just that you're the latest person to do it to me, and I want to explain why it bothers me.

I really really really hate it when I, or someone else, points out something truly fucked up and disturbing about the way the world works, and someone else comes along and says "Well, that's the way the world works."

We KNOW that this is how things are. We are saying quite explicitly that how things are is fucked up. We don't need to be told "Well, that's reality", because we are explicitly talking about an aspect of reality that needs to be changed.

I don't understand the failure of thinking that makes people do this. They're not always (or even usually) trolls or idiots, many of them are well-intentioned, but somehow they miss the fact that saying "this aspect of the real world is fucked up and wrong" is not a failure to recognize how the world really is. If anything, those of us who do this should be recognized as maybe, just possibly, trying to get other people's attention to a screwed up and wrong aspect of the world.

Re: *sigh*

[jennifoot.livejournal.com]

Yeah, you are going off on me.

it *is* the way the world works and people should be reminded of that on a daily basis.

WTF?

I don't get why you are going off when I was totally agreeing with you.

Re: *sigh*

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

It's not you personally, if someone else had said it, I would have said the same thing.

It's just that I run into this all the time: I KNOW that this is the way the world works. That's the entire reason I wrote the post: to bring up that fact, and to point out the ways in which this aspect of the way the world works is broken.

Being told "well, that's reality" sounds dismissive and condescending. I'm pretty sure that wasn't your intent. That's just how it comes across.

[esme454.livejournal.com]

Oh. My. God.

I wish men who like the idea of this product came with a label.

[esme454.livejournal.com]

I can't help but sort of marvel at the product description.

Main causes of hymen tore or break:

* Strenuous exercise (Gymnastics, sports, martial art, horse riding, etc)
* Premarital Sex
* Childhood accident (Hard object)
* Wearing a tampon for the first time



Made in Japan.

Expire: 2 years.

How to use:

* Open the package and rub on the artificial hymen, then carefully put into the vagina. If vaginal is dry, dip the artificial hymen to water and then put it into the vagina as quickly as you can.
* Place inside vagina 15-20 minutes before intercourse
* Finally, cleans the vulva after having sexual intercourse.

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

The Engrish is rather precious, yes.

[erica057.livejournal.com]

Ohh but just think of the practical joke potential...

"HONEY ITS A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!!!!1"

Re: *sigh*

[jennifoot.livejournal.com]

Not once did I say "Well, that is reality". I said, "That is the reality of this product". There was nothing dismissive about that.

You say, gosh, the world is fucked up. I say, yeah, the world is fucked up, you say I am condescending and dismissive for saying the world is fucked up.

Talk about fucked up.

[nimbrethil.livejournal.com]

Not necessarily stupid in the U.S. either. There's plenty of men here who'd be willing to kill over "his" woman's non-virginal status.

My concern is what will be the reactions of men who find out about this thing. Gods help the woman who gets caught trying to buy one or put one in. And what about men who suddenly decide that women are just so untrustworthy that you never know if one in particular will be telling the truth about her virginity or not?

Re: *sigh*

[jennifoot.livejournal.com]

and just a reminder, post responses get emailed even when you delete them a second later.

Re: *sigh*

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

I think we're talking at cross purposes here.

I think the problem is that I perceived you as trying to inform me what the reality was around the product, which I already knew and had mentioned in my post; it was mostly frustration that you didn't seem to have read what I wrote.

I'm sorry I got grouchy.

Re: *sigh*

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I only deleted that because you'd deleted the comment to which I was replying, so I thought I would rephrase and get rid of the ugly "deleted post" bit besides.

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

That's a big concern of mine as well.

I also just wonder, what the hell is wrong with men who care this much about virginity anyway?

Re: *sigh*

[nimbrethil.livejournal.com]

He didn't exactly "go off." I don't see a "fuck you" or anything reminiscent of that, in tone or explicit wording, anywhere.

Just to toss in my own two cents, part of what makes it frustrating, at least in my view, is that those type of responses seem to be suggesting that this reality cannot be changed, that somehow wanting to and trying to CHANGE the reality is in itself a naive denial of reality, somehow. There's a definite sense of "What'cha gonna do?" hand-raising. And it's this attitude, that people should just accept reality because it's absolutely immutable...that maintains the status quo in the first place.

[lalael.livejournal.com]

Oh wow. Thank god I didn't need one of these. And by that I mean that my husband isn't ridiculously stupid. I'm fairly certain that I either a) was born without a hymen (which apparently can happen) or b) broke mine riding my bike or something as a kid 'cause there was NO pain associated with my first time. I can't even imagine having to worry about something like that, much less having to buy one in an attempt to save my life. *sends good thoughts out into the ether*

Re: *sigh*

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

YES, thank you. That's actually a huge chunk of what's frustrating to me about it. It feels like a pat on the head and "There there, I know, it sucks, but what can you do?"

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

For that, I would think maybe a crucifix dildo (http://www.divine-interventions.com/jackhammer.html).