The Flood is coming, and I have no Halo.

So, a quick update: the Red River's rise has slowed significantly. It has remained below 41 feet all day, inching upward at a glacial rate. It's still a record-breaker, mind you, but it's beginning to look like the crest may be lower than predicted. Or later. Maybe both.

The reason? We got slammed with a sudden cold snap and blizzard on Wednesday, which dumped 8 inches of snow on us, but! Also refroze the water that was flowing into the river. So, while there is snow and ice getting in the way of the volunteers building levees and dikes, the cold is helping us immensely. If nothing else, it's buying time; I can still hear trucks hauling dirt out to the road near my building, to build the levee higher.

I never thought I would say this, but...all praises to the Snow Demons!

Extreme Hilarity: The Onion gets literary.

I think this is the funniest Onion News Network video ever. In fact, I think it's the funniest thing the Onion has ever done.

Unusual for a YouTube video, the comment thread is great. There were a number of literate people there making literary jokes. I saved a few highlights:


ElusiveJo (3 days ago)
My flight was once redirected to Kafka due to a paperwork error. The x-ray screening machine carved my alleged crime on my back, and there was a giant cockroach going through my luggage. It was worse than George Orwell in Oceania, which at least gets things moving quickly.

VariedInterest (3 days ago)
I don't know, last time I travelled with Orwell Int. they said I was to get 3 coffee rations during my flight, but when I got on board, they insisted that my coffee ration had been RAISED to TWO. When I tried to explain the misunderstanding, they tied me to a table and electrocuted me until I agreed that the basic truths of mathematics did not exist.

Though, that was still slightly better than the Burroughs Airline, where I was impregnated by the manager who was a mutant crab monster.

---

merdufer (2 days ago)
I was at the Kierkegaard Hospital once and heard the doctors in the hall way discussing whether it would be acceptable to sacrifice their favorite patient to God even though doing so is unethical according to the social norm. I became so afraid I just jumped out of the window from the eighth floor but somehow landed safely on the ground.

---

CJAnonymous (1 day ago)
Say what you want about it, it's still a hell of a lot better than Lovecraft Metropolitan.

My family hasn't stopped screaming since I picked them up from there.

jackball74 (1 day ago)
Yeah - I asked if they served fish in the food court and got dozens of flat, cold stares.

---

johhnyturbo (23 hours ago)
The Doestoevsky hotel is at least better then the Satre Hotel in France. I swear, staying in the rooms there is like staying in Hell.

merdufer (19 hours ago)
you can't blame the hotel for having bad roommates.