Found Engrish: Super Glue

[flewellyn]

Awhile ago, a friend of mine bought some super glue at the dollar store. Now, this purchase was not noteworthy in any way; super glue is, well, super glue. What was noteworthy was the text on the back of the package, giving instructions. It was written in that very special fractured Engrish which screamed "We are too cheap to hire translators who know the language!" It was so good, I had to photocopy it. So here it is, transcribed in all its unedited, barely comprehensible glory. I swear to Alysson Hannigan that not a bit of this is made up.

Read and laugh:

Super Glue bottle is well designed to protect leakage or drop the nozzle, speciall designed!!

Application
1. Super Glue, cyanoacrylate adhesive, has an amazing new quick bonding power of multi-purpose against wood, plastic, ceramic, rubber, metal etc...
2. Bonds daily domestic goods, interior gooks, electric appliance, accessories, hobbies and sporting goods, automobile accesories.

Care In Handling
1. Do not spread or touch the adhesiv with the finger. When carelessly touched, rub the handcream and soften with warm water, so it can be easily removed.
2. If eye contact occurs, hold lids open and flush with water, and consult with doctor, Neither use any solvents nor rub the eye.
3. Due to immediate bondign, KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN!!

Care On Use
1. DO not use Super Glue on to the polyethylene, fluorocarbon and silicon materials.
2. Wipe with alcohols or sandpaper the comtact surtace to remove moisture, rust, oil, and fat etc...
3. Give a slight moisture onto the wlld suffaces when difficult to bond.

1. Set the cap ring onto the screw As illustrated. hold the cap and nozzle with left hand, and screw the tube with right hand slowo ly clockwise, then the contents come out from the tip.
2. After use, WIPE THE NOZZLE TIP with soft paper.
3. Tigthly cap and store.
4. Whem clogged at the nozzle tip, on next use, CUT THE EXTENDER NOZZLE and tightly cap with one of the suitable holes.

I think I'm gonna have it framed.

Comments

[jwitcraft.livejournal.com]

That is possibly the best argument for KEEPING LABOR HERE that I have ever seen! Bwahahaha!

[limpingpigeon.livejournal.com]

Parts of this sound like the phrases anime characters shout when performing their special attacks in battle.

"Take this!!! QUICK BONDING POWER OF MULTI-PURPOSE!"

[xuincherguixe.livejournal.com]

And of course an a mountain would be destroyed (don't ask me how glue is going to do that. But hey, this is anime we're talking about), and when the smoke clears the other person will be fine and say something like.

"You fool! You Multi Purpose Bonding technique is insigificant to one such as me. My mastery over Dues ex Machina grants me power beyond your puny imagination!"

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

Yes, and then said villain will give a slight moisture onto the wlld suffaces...

[spooke.livejournal.com]

Like Tranzor Z in kindergarten!

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

From the back of a packet of 'dress-up-doll' stickers I was given for my birthday:

Take a personal place stick on sticker album or stage.

Choos any kind of adornment you like it and stick on personage.

Re-adhere any kind of accorted item or ornament.

Remove & re-adhere are possible.

[motodraconis.livejournal.com]

Excellent! I've been searching for something to bond my interior gook for ages.

[spooke.livejournal.com]

Engrish is love.

[momily.livejournal.com]

OMG, Avi!!! Interior Gooks! Rub the handcream!!!

I'm about to wet my pants!!!

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

I hope that's not literal. That's probably not what the instructions meant by "give a slight moisture".

[momily.livejournal.com]

...I have no comment on the slight moisture...

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

Tightly capped with one of the suitable holes, eh?