I saw this, and I had to post it. (NOT PARRSAFE!)

[flewellyn]

Apparently there is a Bad Sex in Fiction award. I saw this, and I thought of (among others) naamah_darling.

"Oh, Lord," he cried out. "I'm a-comin'!"

She could not answer. It is the one drawback of fellatio as conscientious as hers that it eliminates the chance for small talk and poetry alike.

Wow....

More here:

http://books.guardian.co.uk/departments/generalfiction/story/0,6000,1652812,00.html

Comments

[azzy23.livejournal.com]

Clearly I am lame. I have 3 commas for that writer. As so:

"Oh, Lord," he cried out. "I'm a-comin'!"

She could not answer. It is the one drawback of fellatio as conscientious as hers, that it eliminates the chance for small talk, and poetry, alike.

I shall now go die alone and be eaten by dogs.

[randallsquared.livejournal.com]

I disagree that it needs the extra commas. :) In fact, I find that they break up the flow of the sentence quite unnaturally. Insofar as the sentence is natural, rather than artificial, I suppose.

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't bother with the last two (one of which is an Oxford comma, argh, diediedie!). But the first one helps the sense.

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

Well, punctuation is a serious matter, you know; if you don't punctuate correctly, you could end up going through a bad period. You might even lapse into a comma! Then they'd have to amputate part of your colon, leaving you with only a semicolon. That would be a real apostrophe! After all, you have only one asterisk for your country, and you don't want to make a total hash of things. So, I guess my advice is just to brace yourself, and eat plenty of carets. I have to dash now! Untilde later, then.

[naamah-darling.livejournal.com]

I'd have been proud to've written those lines. Pure gold.

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

I remember your "love" poem. It was the most beautifully horrid thing ever. I think it would have done well in this competition.