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Cat blogging: Ask Yitzak.
I've decided that I should update this thing more often. So, while today is still Sat...er, Caturday, that is, I have decided to blog about cats.
But then it occurred to me that I have a cat who can speak for himself. So, instead, Yitzak will blog about cats and humans. Take it away, Yitzak!
Good evening, readers, both feline and of lesser species. I am, of course, Yitzak, as my Flew-human was kind enough to state previously. This marks the second occasion on which I have undertaken to post a missive in this medium, and the first in which I have done so whilst Flewellyn was still awake. For this occasion, I have decided to address a question that you humans commonly ask concerning your felines, namely: Why do cats always get in the way when I am trying to read? Do they not want me to read? Would they prefer I didn't know how to read at all?
As a noted elder in the online feline community, I can assure all of you gentle humans that your feline owners have no desire for you to remain uneducated. Nor, for that matter, do we wish that you stop reading. In truth, when we act to interrupt you in any particular activity, this does not indicate that we find said activity objectionable in any way.
No, the reason for our interruptions is simply to ensure that you do not engage in any one activity, which does not involve cats, for too long, as this is clearly unhealthy for you.
Humans bond with felines, you see, because they require our companionship and our natural grace and charm, whilst we require the use of their opposable thumbs to provide food, comfort, and pettings. Naturally, this symbiotic relationship is at its healthiest when feline and human interact at regular intervals. Thus, if too much time has passed without proper interaction, it behooves the feline to alert his or her human to this lamentable situation.
Of course, there is one situation in which this is not entirely accurate. When we interrupt your activities as you are preparing food for human consumption, if any of that food is feline-suitable meat, we are of course alerting you to the fact that we have detected this situation, determined that we do not currently possess any of said meat, and would find you most remiss if you did not act to correct this unfortunate oversight.
So, you see, our interruptions are undertaken with only the best of intentions, for the sake of your own continued good health, and ours.
Thank you for this opportunity to enlighten the general public. I shall now retire to the recliner, where I note Bella is already engaged in somnolent contortionism. I believe I shall join her; she makes an excellent pillow.
Got more questions for Yitzak? Write in comments!
But then it occurred to me that I have a cat who can speak for himself. So, instead, Yitzak will blog about cats and humans. Take it away, Yitzak!
Good evening, readers, both feline and of lesser species. I am, of course, Yitzak, as my Flew-human was kind enough to state previously. This marks the second occasion on which I have undertaken to post a missive in this medium, and the first in which I have done so whilst Flewellyn was still awake. For this occasion, I have decided to address a question that you humans commonly ask concerning your felines, namely: Why do cats always get in the way when I am trying to read? Do they not want me to read? Would they prefer I didn't know how to read at all?
As a noted elder in the online feline community, I can assure all of you gentle humans that your feline owners have no desire for you to remain uneducated. Nor, for that matter, do we wish that you stop reading. In truth, when we act to interrupt you in any particular activity, this does not indicate that we find said activity objectionable in any way.
No, the reason for our interruptions is simply to ensure that you do not engage in any one activity, which does not involve cats, for too long, as this is clearly unhealthy for you.
Humans bond with felines, you see, because they require our companionship and our natural grace and charm, whilst we require the use of their opposable thumbs to provide food, comfort, and pettings. Naturally, this symbiotic relationship is at its healthiest when feline and human interact at regular intervals. Thus, if too much time has passed without proper interaction, it behooves the feline to alert his or her human to this lamentable situation.
Of course, there is one situation in which this is not entirely accurate. When we interrupt your activities as you are preparing food for human consumption, if any of that food is feline-suitable meat, we are of course alerting you to the fact that we have detected this situation, determined that we do not currently possess any of said meat, and would find you most remiss if you did not act to correct this unfortunate oversight.
So, you see, our interruptions are undertaken with only the best of intentions, for the sake of your own continued good health, and ours.
Thank you for this opportunity to enlighten the general public. I shall now retire to the recliner, where I note Bella is already engaged in somnolent contortionism. I believe I shall join her; she makes an excellent pillow.
Got more questions for Yitzak? Write in comments!
no subject
I have a question I've always wondered (or, for a few months, at least): why do cats -- and I have a specific Cat in mind -- find it necessary to lick a human wrist? But only that one wrist, and never the other?
I await your answer humbly.
no subject
Why is it that some cats won't cover up their poop? I mean, I'm not talking a cat that won't properly use a dirty box. I could excuse that. I'm talking about a cat that won't properly use a freshly-cleaned box full of virgin litter that has been combed perfectly flat. It is the ideal pooping environment, and yet ONE of my cats does not feel the need to cover her business when she is done. She leaves it sitting on the surface of the crystals like a breached sandworm, or a thoughtful gift.
Furthermore, the southern output of this particular cat is so rancid that it's becoming a major issue in the household; the cat drops an unburied stinkbomb right before company comes over, and even if I cover it up as soon as I notice, it is too late. The smell has spread through the whole house, and it cannot be exoriced.
I hate to make such a stink, but this has reached the point of no return.
Thank you,
Naamah and Sargon
no subject
I have heard many wonderful things about you and am honored to have a chance to write to you. With that said, onto my questions.
First, what is so great about cardboard? Every feline I have had the pleasure to get to know can't wait to lie down and nap on pieces of cardboard, or any paper product for that matter.
Second, my feline companion is the rugged outdoorsy type and an accomplished hunter. He often brings home his catches in an apparent attempt to share and seems frustrated when I don't wish to partake in the kill. Can you advise me a polite way to tell him that while I appreciate the gesture, raw squirrels and baby bunnies are not part of my regular human diet?
Thank you for your time and consideration Yitzak, and thank you for taking such good care of the Flew for us all.
- Jessi
no subject
Are you going to start your own LJ? Our human servant, [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] was powerless to stop us!!!! We started before she did!
Can you give us tips on how to better manage our human? We don't feel like she feeds us nearly enough. I mean, come on, we *need* 8 meals per day!!!! She feeds us 2-3 times, at most! And no midnight snacks, either.
How do we correct this?
And why does she get mad when we spill the water?
Thank you for your help!
--Ambrose Caradoc, Invanity Jessye Norvan of Vankkadia, Oliver Lucius, Neptune Sky, and Sigil