www.truthorfiction.com says the same thing. It even says where it started:

"In reality, this story is from a British humor-satire site called The Daily Squib (www.dailysquib.co.uk). That happens from time to time: a story from a satire site gets circulated as the real thing."

Esquire might have copied it from the Daily Squib and updated it for present day. It sounds hilarious, but it's not any more true than Hugh Downs calling Obama a flake, Michelle Obama spending over $447 for one meal, or the nonsense about them really being Muslims.