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[personal profile] flewellyn
So, I saw at Shakesville a video and transcript by a deeply conservative, apparently Catholic, fundamentalist, asserting that if you use condoms, you will not be Raptured. This guy calls himsel the "Third Eagle of the Apocalypse", and insists he is "Co-Prophet of the End Times".

Several responses come to mind.

First off, "Third Eagle of the Apocalypse" would be an awesome name for a heavy metal band. Or else an album. I could see Manowar, or maybe Mythic Slaughterbeast, putting out an album with that name.

Second, what the hell is with the fundie hate for contraception and disease prevention? Is their manhood so threatened by the idea of not putting their "holy spirit" in every possible woman that they have to ruin everything for the rest of us? (Rhetorical question. Of course, the answer is yes.)

But last, and more importantly, those silly fundie Christians who misread their Bibles! There's nothing about a "rapture"! What they're waiting for is the RUPTURE.

That's when God will take all the people, of all faiths, who believe that they are God's speshul snowflakes, and that this gives them license to behave badly towards others, and assume them bodily into the heavens.

Not Heaven, but the heavens. As in, low Earth orbit.

They will not be given any special means to survive in hard vacuum, however. That's why it's called "the Rupture".

And it can't come soon enough.

Date: 2009-12-05 03:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shes-not-there.livejournal.com
I support this idea. :)

PraiseBob!

Date: 2009-12-05 03:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] capybyra.livejournal.com
The idea of having The Rupture imminent fills me with hope.

Date: 2009-12-05 03:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xuincherguixe.livejournal.com
To be fair. A Heavy Metal band still coĆ¼ld use it.

Date: 2009-12-05 05:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] keori.livejournal.com
I don't know, dude. I've done my historical research on Nazi propaganda, and "Third Eagle of the Apocalypse" sounds a lot like something the Third Reich would use as rhetoric.

And I also support this "Rupture" of which you speak. Please, tell us more!

Date: 2009-12-06 01:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] happiestsadist.livejournal.com
I think I love this idea.

Also, they'd make lovely shooting stars if they crash.

Date: 2009-12-06 06:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lucretiasheart.livejournal.com
Its reading posts like this that make me realize why I have a big ol' crush on you!! {{HUGS}}

Date: 2010-01-16 02:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] goth-is-not-emo.livejournal.com
Drive-by, one-time response to your blog by a randomly-linked stranger:


You, sir or madam, are a genius. Although it makes me sad to think I may lose some of my extended family to The Rupture, the idea of this happening to, say, Pat Robertson, fills me with glee. I might even re-convert back to Christianity if this becomes official canon.

Date: 2010-01-19 04:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leorising1959.livejournal.com
IAWTC. Except the re-converting part. You rock. :D

Date: 2010-01-16 04:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] archmage.livejournal.com
See, this? This I can dig.

Date: 2010-01-19 12:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] krinndnz.livejournal.com
Since you linked back to this from [livejournal.com profile] theweaselking, I'm here to say that The Rupture is an amusing idea, and that "Third Eagle Of The Apocalypse" is what I'm going to be suggesting to people for metal band names.

Note to [livejournal.com profile] keori: To the best of my (very limited) knowledge, the Reich's symbol was more a two-headed eagle, so "Third Eagle" should be clear. Which won't solve the problem of racists attaching themselves to a metal band's fandom, but very little so far has solved that for any band.

Date: 2010-02-18 03:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shakatany.livejournal.com
what the hell is with the fundie hate for contraception and disease prevention? Is their manhood so threatened by the idea of not putting their "holy spirit" in every possible woman that they have to ruin everything for the rest of us? That just made me start humming "Every Sperm is Sacred" from Monty Python's "The Meaning of Life" - I think that's what they truly believe.

Shakatany

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