flewellyn: (Default)
[personal profile] flewellyn
From the I Swear I Could Not Make This Up Department, I bring you this news item: Porn Industry Seeks Federal Bailout.

That's right, Larry Flynt and other members of the pornography industry are asking Congress for $5 billion US to help...well, here's what he says:

"With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind. It's time for congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America. The only way they can do this is by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly."

Well, several responses come to mind. First off, does anyone really want Congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America? Of all the groups of people I might think to list as "go to" people for creative sexual expression, Congress is not near the top. Or the middle. Or, honestly, the bottom. (I could make a bad joke about certain members of Congress possibly being bottoms, themselves, but I will repress the urge.)

But, more to the point, why would the porn industry seriously think they need a bailout? Porno is a thriving business, and has never seen truly hard times. Even with the economic downturn, they're still making money hand over fist. It's one sector of the economy that I'm quite sure does not need additional stimulation. Larry Flynt is making out well enough without any additional money shot into his bank account, and I'm sure that his fellow producers' balance sheets are likewise firmly in the black.

Besides which, Ron Jeremy aside, the porno industry does not qualify as "too big to fail." A few producers may go down here and there, but on the whole, the market is an easy one to penetrate.

Date: 2009-01-13 01:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] roseneko.livejournal.com
Actually, lately the professional porn industry has been having a difficult time of it financially - not so much because of the economic downturn as the rise of the Internet. Most people aren't so picky about the quality of their porn that they'll pay money for professional stuff when you can get amateur for free on XTube (or certain LJ communities I could name, or any number of other sites run by exhibitionistic types). Which, frankly, I see as a positive move - there's far less opportunity for exploitation when there's a direct trade between producers and consumers without a middleman involved.

That said, that particular article (assuming it's accurate) pretty much proves that satire is dead. 'Cos if you'd just read it to me without source attribution, I would have sworn blind it came from The Onion.

Date: 2009-01-13 04:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pixxelpuss.livejournal.com
I don't know. Maybe Larry Flynt IS being satirical.

Date: 2009-01-13 01:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] erica057.livejournal.com
That would be almost funny if it wasn't Joe Francis heading up the effort. I'm not one to often use the term "male chauvinist pig", but he's a male chauvinist pig.

Date: 2009-01-13 02:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flewellyn.livejournal.com
Oh, I'd love to see Joe Francis set on fire on national television.

But I had an opportunity to make bad puns.

Date: 2009-01-14 08:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] happiestsadist.livejournal.com
I agree so much.

Date: 2009-01-13 06:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] naamah-darling.livejournal.com
*cracks the fuck up*

*tries to make coherent response*

*just . . . dies laughing*

Date: 2009-01-13 07:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flewellyn.livejournal.com
That was the general thrust of what I was going for.

Date: 2009-01-13 07:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eemfibble.livejournal.com
Ooooh stop!!! I think you've reached a climax on those puns.

Date: 2009-01-13 07:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flewellyn.livejournal.com
I'll just keep 'em coming.

Date: 2009-01-15 09:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ms-daisy-cutter.livejournal.com
I thought that last one was a bit flaccid....

Date: 2009-01-13 09:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] limpingpigeon.livejournal.com
Your puns are very well-played here, sir. Just subtle enough to catch me off guard a couple times :D

Date: 2009-01-13 01:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ginasketch.livejournal.com
Because everyone knows if porn doesn't exist people will stop having sex.

Dumbasses.

Date: 2009-01-13 01:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrz80.livejournal.com
(*sputter*cough*choke*ROTFL*my lungs hurt*)

Magnificently played, sir, magnificently played. Had I a hat to wear, it would be off to you.

Date: 2009-01-13 11:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nimbrethil.livejournal.com
Generalist my ass.

Date: 2009-01-13 11:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flewellyn.livejournal.com
I like bad puns, and I cannot lie!

Date: 2009-01-14 01:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yumantioxidants.blogspot.com (from livejournal.com)
DAAAAAAH! TOO MANY JOKES!!! YOU DID THIS ON PURPOSE!!! AAAAAAARGH!!!!

Date: 2009-01-14 07:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flewellyn.livejournal.com
Sure did!

Date: 2009-01-14 08:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] happiestsadist.livejournal.com
I love your puns.

Seriously though, the porn industry is likely the safest in the world.

Date: 2009-01-15 09:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ms-daisy-cutter.livejournal.com
I could make a bad joke about certain members of Congress possibly being bottoms, themselves, but I will repress the urge.

Isn't there a figure of speech that describes "I could say ______ but I won't"?

Anyway, if I had to suggest a congresscritter to give the pr0n industry advice, it'd be David Vitter. Not because I'm into the whole "adult baby" scene but because I'm not right in the head.

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